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Do You Have a Fear of Commitment in 2011?

January 10 2011

Multitaskingman200px“Make a decision!” My strident internal voice creates a slice of pain that arches over the crown of my head - a jolting order shrieking loudly enough to cause my heart to pound and my face to burn with frustration. It isn’t as if I am making a choice between life and death. I only have to determine how my business will grow over the next two to five years. Certainly, I can delay mapping out my career until I have a “safe” amount of discretionary cash set aside. Except one thought keeps hounding me… what came first? The chicken or the egg?

Now I understand that it doesn’t make any difference which came first. All I have to do is commit. No excuses, no lop-sided rationalizations that I might not be meant for what I want to do. Just set one foot in front of the other and take the first step. Whether that first step will falter or stride confidently forward is determined by my attitude and strength of belief in my own skills, attributes and character.

Guillermo del Tora, Hollywood director, carries this phrase with him wherever h e goes; “In our choices, lies our fate.” And this is exactly what scares the daylights out of me. All of us have our priorities. No one else sets them for us – we do. We either say “yes!” to a choice or we set it aside. My fear is that I’ll say “yes” for all the right reasons, yet find out later that decision set in motion another entirely separate chain of events.

For example, I travel nation wide, speaking to groups ranging from 30 to 1,500 attendees. Often, I’m only home during the weekend. My husband, Rick, opens the door wide and my two Airedales charge out greeting me boisterously until they feel I have been properly welcomed. Rick waits patiently, and then gives me a sweet hug and a wide grin. Typically, I’m physically exhausted from the trip, but mentally I can’t wait to tell him about who I met, what I did, and how the engagement went. He allows me to settle in and our family routine is quickly re-established – if only for a short while.

Except the routine has changed... He is now drinking wine right after dinner instead of water or a Diet Coke. We haven’t had alcohol after dinner for over 25 years, yet, there he is…sipping on a Merlot. Ever observant, I asked him “What’s that?” He glanced at me and said, “It’s good for my heart.”

Huh.


My mind raced over the possibilities; He’s either sick, drinking out of loneliness or he has met someone else! Outrageous as it sounds, I couldn’t believe he made a lifestyle change without consulting me. But of course, I’m usually not there.
In our choices…lies our fate.

Rick had read an article on the benefits of red wine and he wants to be around a long time with me, therefore he has his glass of wine each night. He made a choice…for me. Oh my.

Our fate and future depends upon how well we know ourselves. Rick’s simple declaration of “wine for the heart” nudges me to take equally good care of myself. The Yoga CD is unwrapped and ready for viewing. I just need to put it in the computer and discover introspection, meditation and physical health. “Make a decision” time has arrived and it is time to set the plan in place. And I realize it is a relatively simple process.

COMMIT

C – Calibrate

Now is the time to adjust schedules and projects so that a balance of business and personal time exists.

O – Observe

By making an effort to truly understand the finer aspects of my business, I can avoid professional pitfalls such as overbuilding, under staffing, growing too fast or absorbing a debt load that is unmanageable.


M – Manipulate

As the details are drawn up, the business model and tasks defined, each element that falls into place creates the momentum to surge forward with focus and wide open eyes. I need to move the pieces around until I feel I have a sound path to follow.

M – Memorize

Spending a few moments every morning to review my specific goals and objectives will ensure that my personal engine is finely tuned and ready for
high level performance. My unconscious thoughts will automatically help me make decisions that are tied directly to my life goals.

I – Implement

My plan action steps are viable and well thought out. Initiating the business building processes I have designed will give me purpose and reinforcement emotionally. I know I will be able to move forward in my career…much like placing my foot on the gas and shifting into gear.

T – Trust

Sometimes “disobedience is the preamble to responsibility”, according to del Toro. I have developed a thoughtfully laid out plan, spent resources to research options and envision a future which belongs to only me. I’ve learned not to waste a passing glance at those who will try to make me conform to their vision. This dream is mine alone. I have to trust my instincts to allow myself to succeed. And I understand that all of this will not be possible without the support of those who love me and share the same vision.


Living my life with gusto and appreciation is my goal…and grasping the future with both hands in enthusiasm, no matter what it brings. Live my life like Buz Lightyear and yell “to infinity and beyond!”

My eyes are wide open and I’m ready to commit. Are you?